Wednesday, June 2, 2010

The L Word. Revisited.

Yeah, I was trying to figure out how long I could keep that up.

But I can't... because the feeling isn't leaving me.

So yeah. I love him.

I just slept in all day trying to figure out what went so awry this weekend, and the only thing I can come up with is that I just wasn't true to myself.  I played it way too cool and acted like it didn't mean much to me when it meant the world to see him looking at me like that.

So maybe I deserved it, because my body language treated him the same way.

Why am I so guarded?  Like I'm always waiting to be hurt.  Sometimes I feel like I throw my heart in front of a moving train, yet still manage to be surprised when it gets hit hard.

I never give love hope; instead I give it an expiration date.  Always focused on what's about to go wrong rather than on what's going absolutely right - right now.

So yeah. I love him.  But now I think it's too late.

Another lesson learned the hard way. It's like my personal motif.

Late.

No comments: