Not the same.

So I spent 3 hours in Starbucks yesterday followed by 2 hours in a small restaurant in Center City. Haven’t experienced laughter quite like that in such a long time that I woke up this morning and tried to capture the moment as if though it was a piece of art or a movie scene.

But at the back of my mind I couldn’t stop thinking about where I wish I was. It’s almost as if I’m unable to feel free because a piece of me lies elsewhere.

I keep telling myself that one day it’s gonna be easier and that this is just another cycle. It’s not like I haven’t been here before.

I just know I deserve to feel completely in a moment and right now I feel like I’ve been robbed of fully experiencing freedom just because I can’t get past these thoughts…

How frustrating.

40 days of Faith

For the next month or so... follow me at http://40daysoffaith.tumblr.com

I'm chronicling my 40 days of believing God for the impossible.

I'm holding on to God's unchanging hand.

Hold Me Down

What's a friend?

Well, from the World English Dictionary, one of the meanings of friend is:
"an ally in a fight of cause; supporter"

Now how many of us actually live up to that meaning?

Have you stood up for someone today? Supported them even if it was for a purpose you really couldn't care less about? Fought on someone's behalf?


Because if you haven't done so lately, here's some news:
You're not being a friend. (gasp)

As friends we have to encompass this value as well as others.  And before you even try THINKING about a romantic relationship, why not get friendship downpacked?

I think I'm going to support someone(or two) tomorrow.

True friends hold each other DOWN.

I wonder who's gonna hold me down?

-AB

Skin.

I guess I think I'll post about this song tomorrow.

But for now, lets just listen and read these lyrics:
(and if you know me well enough, you already know not to think im goin crazy here)

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Verse 1:
The mood is set,
So you already know what's next.
TV on blast,
Turn it down,
Turn it down.
Don't want it to clash,
With my body screaming now.
I know you hearin' it,
You got me moaning now.
I got a secret that I wanna show you, oh.
I got a secret so imma drop em to the floor, oh.

Hook:
No teasin,
You waited long enough.
Go deep,
Imma throw it at ya,
Can't catch it.
Don't hold back,
You know I like it rough.
Know I'm feelin ya, huh.
Know you liking it, huh.

Chorus:
So why you standing over there with ya clothes on,
Baby strip down for me,
Go on take em off.
Don't worry baby,
Imma meet you half way,
Cause I know you wanna see me.

Verse 2:
Almost there,
So baby don't stop what you're doing.
Softer than a motha
Boy I know you wanna touch.
Breathing down my neck,
I can tell ya wanna -
And now you want it like,
Want you to feel it now.
I got a secret that I wanna show you, ooh.
I got a secret so imma drop em to the floor, ooh.

Hook:
No teasin,
You waited long enough.
Go deep,
Imma throw it at ya,
Can't catch it.
Don't hold back,
You know I like it rough.
Know I'm feelin ya, huh.
Know you liking it, huh.

Chorus:
So why you standing over there with ya clothes on,
Baby strip down for me,
Go on take em off.
Don't worry baby,
Imma meet you half way,
Cause I know you wanna see me.

Chorus 2:
No heels,
No shirt,
No skirt,
All I'm in is just skin.
No jeans,
Take em off,
Wanna feel your skin.
You a beast, oh.
You know that I like that.
Come on baby,
All I wanna see you in is just skin.

Bridge:
All in baby,
Don't hold nothing back.
Wanna take control,
Nothing wrong with that.
Say you liking how I feel,
Ain't gotta tell me that.
Just put your skin baby on my skin.

Chorus 2:
No heels,
No shirt,
No skirt,
All I'm in is just skin.
No jeans,
Take em off,
Wanna feel your skin.
You a beast, oh.
You know that I like that.
Come on baby,
All I wanna see you in is just skin.

No heels,
No shirt,
No skirt,
All I'm in is just skin.
No jeans,
Take em off,
Wanna feel your skin.
You a beast, oh.
You know that I like that.
Come on baby,
All I wanna see you in is just skin.
All I wanna see you in is just skin.
All I wanna see you in is just skin.
All I wanna see you in
All I wanna see you in is your skin, oh.

breathtaking.

I'm so not sure why I'm making this such a big deal; I guess I tend to mix and mingle with men of "few words."  But I went out on a limb and sent this photo to a friend and he responded that I was "breathtaking."  So I decided to do my own research on the word:


?Breathtaking: [breth-tey-king] –adjective

• thrillingly beautiful
• remarkable
• astonishing
• exciting

Origin: 1875-80

So I'm wondering, what happened in the late 1870's that caused someone to coin the word "breathtaking"?

• Stalin was born (yeah, that guy)
• The lightbulb, telephone & phonograph was invented
• Gold is discovered in South Dakota
• Rockefeller organizes the Standard Oil Trust

But I'm not quite sure my looks would exactly fit into that category of landmark events that were probably breathtaking in a sense.

Then again, maybe the word came to fruition at a wedding where a groom was overcome with emotion upon seeing his bride, and the following exchange occurred at the reception:

Groom: I, I just don't know what to say. You, you are just...

Bride: Oh dear.

Groom: When I'm around you, I can barely breathe

Bride: Like you've lost your breath?

Groom: Like you've taken it away.. You're breath-taking.

But I'm 100% positive I don't fit there either.
But maybe I just gotta learn how to take a compliment.


Pass me an inhaler.

 

Let it be.

You ever get the feeling that something is beginning?

You ask all the right questions, and get all the right conversations.

But am I the only one who looks at that same order of events and thinks it's too good to be true?
Because it's happened too many times. I get hype for no reason at all.
So I'm gonna down-play it as much as possible.

So to me, its not a beginning... it just is.

Love From Afar

Well hello blog, it's been almost 2 months since my last confession.

And might I say these 2 months have been eventful to say the least. And now I am pushing through to finish out this semester and complete my undergraduate education at the Mecca of Black Excellence.

So with the stress upon my shoulders, I'm trying to find the energy to strive.  Somewhere in my college career I seem to have lost my ambition for knowledge; I've grown tired and weary of formulae, complex numbers, and variables in the form of greek letters.

Where do I go from here?
I have 5 weeks left to push through. I gotta find it somewhere in me.

In other news... I think the love that lies dormant in me is really longing to be acknowledged. But there's so much going on in my life with school that I just don't feel like I have the time to enjoy my other feelings at all.

So 'til December.... I'll love from afar.